


Keeping a Promise over the Years

by mage_girl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Harry loves how he loves, Infidelity, Luna asks for what she needs, Melancholy, Wistful, darkish fic, mention of rape/dubious consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-29
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-02-23 04:22:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2534036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mage_girl/pseuds/mage_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has loved Luna for a long time.</p><p>This doesn't change no matter what the circumstances are.</p><p>After all is said and done, Harry keeps his promise.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Keeping a Promise over the Years

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BritHistorian](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BritHistorian/gifts).



> This is a birthday fic for a lovely friend of mine.
> 
> This story (or a variation) of this story has been in my head the past year or so. I've wanted to write it but because of the rape/dubious consent parts, have held off on it. 
> 
> There is no graphic depictions of rape in this fic; the intimations are enough.
> 
> I'd catalogue this as a dark!fic save for the mostly melancholy and tender thread that runs through it. I apparently can do wistfulness very well.
> 
> Happy birthday, Brit! I know it's been an odd year for you so this is a story that has all sorts of emotions running through it... in the end, though, there's loveliness that shines through.
> 
> Cheers!

When Luna was small, her mother told her that it was important she seized any opportunity she wanted to and made it her own. Luna’s mother also told her that if she needed to retreat into her mind to rest and guard herself from the outside world, that was her right. No one should take it away from her. Luna may have forgotten some things about her mother but she never forgot what her mother told her.

 

**

 

When Luna first met Harry Potter, she was drawn to his eyes and to his bewilderment. For someone who was to be the Savior of the Wizarding World, he sure leaned a lot on brainy Hermione Granger to do the mental work for him. As for Ron Weasley, he sometimes was as pixilated as others claimed Luna to be. No matter. The three of them, Harry, Hermione, and Ron worked together, worked well, and if they sometimes let others into their little triangle, it wasn’t everlasting.

 

**

 

When Luna kissed Harry for the first time, it was after the mess that was the Department of Mysteries. He wasn’t fully in the material world, Luna knew. She could see him, half there, half not. Luna, herself, had much practice not being in the material world but she knew Harry was new at this.

 

Harry’s grief over Sirius overwhelmed everyone and he kept himself locked up inside. Luna knew what that was like. She never demanded anything more than what Harry could give her. It was enough his eyes were clear when they were together and he stayed firmly in one place.

 

**

 

Luna never liked the phrase ‘losing her virginity.’ For one thing, it wasn’t a loss, it was a gain. Sex was a portal to a whole new level and Luna was all about new levels. She liked sex and she liked experimenting. She liked being with different people and gender wasn’t what drew her to them. 

 

Luna didn’t look at House status or pure blood status or any status, for that matter. She was just as likely to meet up with silver blond scions of Slytherin as to dark haired beauties from Ravensclaw. 

 

**

 

‘Harry, what’s on your mind?’ asked Luna, drawing close to him. She’d been studying the giant squid when she felt someone stand next to her. She glanced over and saw Harry was looking at the horizon.

 

‘Oh. Hi, Luna. Just wanted to stand next to you,’ murmured Harry, smiling at her.

 

Luna smiled back. ‘Harry. What do you need?’ she asked.

 

Harry shuddered. ‘I need to not feel as though… all these expectations. All these things. And I feel like I can’t breathe.’

 

Luna nodded. ‘I can see that. Your eyes aren’t as green today. Do you want to meet up, tonight?’

 

‘I… I’d like that. The usual place?’ asked Harry.

 

‘Yes. I’ll meet you after everyone is in bed,’ answered Luna. She glanced behind her. ‘I think Ginny wants to see you.’

 

Undefinable emotions flitted over Harry’s face. ‘Yeah. I reckon. I’ll see you later, then.’

 

‘See you later, Harry,’ replied Luna. She turned back to contemplate the giant squid but it had completely submerged. Luna sighed. This wasn’t the portent she was hoping to see.

 

**

 

Harry waited until everyone was asleep before he threw the Invisibility Cloak over him with practised ease and slipped past the Fat Lady, waiting for another couple to come in, first.

 

He walked down the halls, evading any teachers with judicious use of the Marauder’s Map, and made it to the Room of Requirement without any problem. He paced in front of it three times and the door appeared on the third go. 

 

Harry slipped inside and shut and locked the door behind him, after glancing around to see if Luna was there. She was and when he saw her, he grinned.

 

‘Hey… you look great,’ he complimented her as he secured the door.

 

‘Thank you, Harry,’ replied Luna, smiling at him. She wore a light blue night gown that looked lovely on her body.

 

Harry folded his cloak and set it on a chair. He set his wand down next to it and walked over to where Luna was pulling back the covers on a bed. ‘I see the Room assumed we were going to stay the night,’ he commented. toeing off his trainers.

 

‘MMhmmm,’ replied Luna. She turned around and stopped him from unbuttoning his shirt. ‘Let me… I like this part.’

 

‘The undressing?’ asked Harry, lowering his hands.

 

‘Yes. It’s ceremonial, you know,’ said Luna, unbuttoning the last button and smoothing his shirt with gentle hands.

 

‘It is?’ asked Harry.

 

‘It’s a way for people to get to know each other. Let’s people see the real selves. How a person reacts to being undressed says a lot about them,’ replied Luna, undoing the snap of Harry’s trousers and pulling the zipper down.

 

‘Like… like what?’ asked Harry, breathless as Luna gently took Harry’s shirt off and put her hands on his waist.

 

‘Like if they’re patient. If they’re comfortable with themselves. If they like their body. If they like the person they’re with. You can tell a lot by how they interact with you,’ explained Luna.

 

‘I see,’ murmured Harry, running a gentle hand over Luna’s hair.

 

‘And… the Wrackspurts aren’t as thick because if the connection is there, they tend to leave you alone,’ added Luna with a mischievous grin.

 

Harry bent over and kissed her, smiling against her mouth.

 

‘Harry… what are you doing?’ asked Luna after a moment.

 

‘I’m making sure the Wrackspurts leave us alone,’ answered Harry. He smiled as Luna moaned softly. ‘Let me know if this feels good.’

 

Luna leaned into him. ‘It feels really good.’

 

She twined her arms around Harry’s neck and they sat on the bed. Harry kissed her as he removed his trousers and crawled onto the bed, keeping his arms around Luna.

 

‘So good,’ managed Harry after a while.

 

‘Yes,’ agreed Luna. She gazed up at Harry, touching his face with gentle fingers.

 

**

 

When Luna was taken to Malfoy Manor, she knew she’d have to be careful. Her pureblood status would only grant her so much asylum; the fact she was Harry’s friend was the greater danger. She’d been to the Manor before as a child, before her mother died. Her father was third cousin to Lucius and before the lines were drawn between Voldemort supporters and Order of the Phoenix supporters, the familial tie wasn’t something either side worried about.

 

Now, though, she trembled to see Draco unable to meet her eye. She trembled for different reasons when Bellatrix looked her over. ‘Please,’ she thought to herself, ‘please don’t give me to this woman.’

 

Voldemort stared at her for a long moment, his snake writhing in and out between his feet. ‘Lucius… is this another relative?’ asked Voldemort.

 

‘Not a close relation,’ stammered Lucius. He cleared his throat and tried again. ‘Her father and I are distant cousins.’

 

‘Ah. Distant.’ Voldemort stroked the top of Nagini’s head. 

 

‘Put her in the dungeons for now. She can keep the other two company,’ ordered Voldemort. ‘I will get word to her father. I’ll see where family loyalty lies.’

 

Luna glanced back once as she was escorted to the dungeon by two of Voldemort’s supporters. Draco looked sick at heart. Narcissa gazed at her, her eyes sending a message Luna wasn’t able to decipher. Lucius had bowed his head but raised his eyes so he could meet hers; Luna sucked in her breath. He looked old before his time.

 

She didn’t have time to puzzle out the meaning before she was shoved into a cell. She was immediately distracted by the old wand maker, Ollivander and her fellow classmate, Dean Thomas. Luna let the thoughts go. She was needed _now_.

 

**

 

The first time, Lucius protested. His punishment for his disobedience was being forced to watch Draco brought to his knees with the Cruciatus Curse. Draco had shook his head at his father, had mouthed, ‘no’ but Lucius gave in.

 

‘My Lord!’ he cried, hating himself. ‘I will do it.’

 

Voldemort smiled. ‘Much better, Lucius. After all, the bloodline must remain pure, must it not? It’s a pity Narcissa is too old to bear another child. No matter. It’s fortunate we have a substitute. Bring her, here. I will explain what is at stake, if she refuses.’

 

**

 

The second time, Lucius didn’t cry but he whispered to Luna, ‘Draco will make sure this doesn’t… please drink your tea every day. Narcissa knows these things.’

 

Luna turned her face away. ‘Has it occurred to you that perhaps I know the spells needed?’

 

Lucius shook his head and turned her back to meet his eyes. ‘He’s put something up to counteract any infertility spell. It’s why we’ve had to resort to the old ways for you...’

 

Luna heard what he wasn’t saying. ‘And for cousin Bellatrix, yes?’

 

‘Yes,’ said Lucius. He sighed. ‘At this rate, nobody is going to be having any children. We’ve had to dose _everything_.’

 

‘I imagine you can’t risk her becoming pregnant,’ said Luna, thoughtfully. She gazed at Lucius, her mouth firming. ‘I’ll drink the tea. And I will be… cooperative. But this isn’t what I want. This isn’t willingness.’

 

‘I’ve never thought it was. Luna... ‘ began Lucius but stopped when Luna raised a hand.

 

‘Don’t. Don’t say words you’d take back if you could. Do what you came here to do and then bring me back to the dungeon. Mr Ollivander worries. I tell him Draco wants to chat with me. I’ll admit, I’m stretching the words, thin,’ murmured Luna.

 

‘I...’ Lucius glanced down. ‘I will use a spell to help me. I don’t want anyone thinking I can’t do this. I wouldn’t wish some of the other men on you. It’d be a fate worse than death.’

 

Luna smiled sadly at him. ‘Oh, Mr Malfoy,’ she said, wrapping her arms around herself. ‘Don’t presume to know what this is for me.’

 

**

 

Luna lost count. She wondered if anyone suspected she wasn’t pregnant, wasn’t going to become pregnant. She dutifully drank the tea under Draco’s watchful eye. She coaxed Mr Ollivander to eat and when he returned back from another ‘chat’ with Voldemort, she held him in her arms. It was difficult for her but she shoved down her feelings and concentrated on taking care of the old man.

 

Dean approached her one night, after Mr Ollivander was sleeping. ‘Luna… are you alright?’

 

Luna raised a pale eyebrow. ‘Why would I not be? We’re prisoners here, my father is being forced to do something he abhors, and I don’t know how we’re going to get out. I think of what might happen if Voldemort wins and everything shuts down in my head. No… alright isn’t something I know anything about.’

 

‘Do you… do you want me to hold you?’ asked Dean.

 

‘I… I don’t want to be touched by anyone, Dean. I’m sorry,’ whispered Luna. 

 

‘It’s OK. I’m here if you need me, though,’ reminded Dean. ‘Whatever happens, I’ll help however I can.’

 

Luna smiled at him, looking for a moment like the Luna he remembered of old. ‘Thank you, Dean. That means a lot to me.’

 

‘Rest,’ urged Dean. He could see the dark circles under her eyes and count her ribs. They were fed just enough to stay alive but no more than that. ‘I’ll keep watch, tonight. Why don’t you try and sleep.’

 

‘I’ll try... ‘ said Luna. She laid down in the corner and curled up in a ball. She’d begun her moon cycle and had told Lucius. He looked like he wanted to weep but stopped himself with one steel eyed look from her. 

 

She had a five day grace period and she wanted to… wanted to float away in her head… wanted to go deep inside and hide. She knew she’d have to come out if Mr Ollivander or Dean needed her but… Luna drifted away, feeling her mother’s arms around her. It felt good, it felt safe. Luna closed the doors to her mind and went inside, barring them behind her.

 

**

 

After the rescue from Malfoy Manor, Luna avoided Harry for a few days. She knew he was planning something with Hermione and Ron. His grief over Dobby was yet another burden upon his shoulders. Luna was pretty sure she could see the wings of the beast she didn’t know the name of curving over Harry’s body. She wanted to scream.

 

When he came to her room, she stared at him for a long moment. His eyes, the eyes she loved to fall into were dark and he darted looks at her. 

 

‘Harry… can’t you see me?’ asked Luna, softly.

 

Harry winced. ‘I… I don’t want to intrude… I just wanted to see how you were. I’m sorry I’ve been so busy. I’ve been meaning to stop by and spend time with you.’

 

The words hung between them. Luna shook her head.

 

‘I don’t know if I can do that, anymore,’ she whispered, barely getting the words out.

 

‘That’s OK. Do you want me to go?’ asked Harry. He hovered near the door.

 

‘I… could you sit over there? But not too close?’ asked Luna.

 

‘I can. There. How’s this?’ asked Harry, checking her reaction as he sat a few feet away. Close but not close enough to touch her, even if he bent over and reached. Something in Luna relaxed.

 

‘Good. That’s good. You’ve always listened to me, haven’t you?’ asked Luna.

 

‘I do my best. I’ve never… I wouldn’t ever do something you didn’t want me to do… and what you have to say is important, Luna,’ said Harry, sincerity in his tone.

 

Luna allowed her eyes to fill with tears and she barely felt them as they fell down her cheeks. 

 

‘Luna...’ Harry instinctively reached towards her and stopped, arresting his movement slowly, not wanting to scare her.

 

‘Can you just sit here, Harry? I need some time,’ implored Luna, twisting her fingers together, tightly.

 

‘I can… I’ll give you all the time in the world,’ reassured Harry. He leaned forward and held out his hand. He wasn’t near enough by a long shot but he let his hand stay where it was.

 

‘You can come a little closer,’ said Luna.

 

‘OK.’ Harry pulled the chair over enough so he could put his hand on the edge of the bed, palm up.

 

He smiled when Luna placed her hand in his, feather-light.

 

He sat back, gently folded his fingers over Luna’s and took a deep breath. ‘Do you want to hear about what it was like freeing a dragon and then riding it out of Gringott’s?’

 

Luna’s eyes gleamed. ‘Do tell all.’

 

Harry took a deep breath and began.

 

**

 

Luna went back to Hogwarts after the battle. She wasn’t the only one who could see Thestrals now, not by a long shot. Hagrid was rotating shifts of students to care for them; they were comforting in an odd way.

 

Harry went back as well. He and Ron and Hermione still sat together but Luna could see that Ron and Hermione were a couple and Harry was on the outside, looking in. 

 

Draco and a handful of Slytherins came back as well. They were ignored by the others for the most part; Harry had asked that they’d be left alone. 

 

Luna wandered the halls at night. She couldn’t sleep sometimes and it was comforting to walk under the light of the moon.

 

‘Harry,’ she whispered one night, seeing him hesitate down the length of a hall.

 

‘Hi, Luna,’ he said, softly. ‘I didn’t want to disturb you.’

 

‘You weren’t. I just couldn’t sleep,’ confessed Luna.

 

‘Me, neither. I’ve been having bad dreams,’ Harry said.

 

‘I can tell. You’ve been distracted and I doubt it’s the Nargles. Do you want to talk about it?’ asked Luna.

 

Harry gave her a sharp look. ‘Do you want to talk about your time at Malfoy Manor? Draco can barely look at you. And I know something happened because Dean told me it was awful, there. He didn’t say anything more than that, Luna. But you forget, I’ve been in Voldemort’s head, too. I could see flashes of images.’

 

Luna stared at Harry. ‘Come with me,’ she said, abruptly.

 

Harry followed her down the hall and then up to the Astronomer’s Tower. He hung back for a moment.

 

Luna stopped halfway up the stairs. ‘Oh. I wasn’t thinking… we can go somewhere else if you’d rather.’

 

‘No. Fair is fair, Luna. We’re on even ground, here,’ reassured Harry, taking a deep breath and following her up the stairs.

 

At the top, he turned and cast a power See-Me-Not spell along with something that ensured anything they’d talk about wouldn’t be overheard. Luna cast some judicious warming spells before she sat down on the top step.

 

Harry sat down below her, keeping his distance. He looked up at her and waited.

 

‘Do you wake up and wish you didn’t?’ asked Luna.

 

‘Um… no. I’ve never wished that. I’ve wished a lot of other things. Like being able to take away the pain I see. Ron’s not doing great. Hermione is having nightmares. Neville wakes up moaning, sometimes. Dean wakes up screaming and so does Seamus. We’re all a mess. And the teachers, too. I think Madame Pomfrey has her hands full,’ confided Harry. He’d seen the multiple jars of potions she administered daily to students and staff alike.

 

‘Most of the girls sleep together. They wake up and cry. They cling to each other and jump at the slightest sound. I’ve heard that the Defense Against the Dark Arts class has to take things really slow. We all are more than a little bit familiar with the Dark Arts, now,’ said Luna, grimly. She ran her fingers through her hair and tugged at the ends.

 

‘Yeah. It’s not like we don’t know what an Unforgivable is now, do we?’ asked Harry. ‘I keep seeing flashes of green when I close my eyes. Green and red. Hermione insisted on us keeping watch over Bellatrix’s body. She wanted to make sure it really was her and not someone polyjuiced to be her.’

 

Luna’s eyes widened. ‘That… that was really clever.’

 

‘It was. I never thought of that. I mean, I was pretty sure it was really her. But Hermione had Kingsley cast some strong spells and make sure it was. I thought it would help but she still cries at night and her arm… she won’t wear short sleeves, anymore,’ commented Harry.

 

‘Mmm… it’ll take time,’ said Luna.

 

‘Time,’ muttered Harry. ‘People tell me I’ve got all this time now, and so what? Big deal. It’s going to take a long, long time before things are settled. And there’s always going to be something or another coming up. Like… Death Eaters who want revenge and Purebloods who want the old ways to come back… and people are already pushing at me, telling me I need to do this or that.’

 

‘You don’t have to. You don’t owe people, anything. You’ve done more than enough,’ said Luna.

 

‘I know that. You know that. But do they know that? I don’t think so. I wanted to be an Auror, Luna. I wanted to fight because… because I wanted to make sure the bad guys don’t win. I’m looking at everything now and I don’t know if it works like that, anymore,’ said Harry. He leaned back against the staircase and sighed again.

 

‘It’s not going to be the same. I’m not who I used to be… you’re not… everything has changed, just like it changed when Voldemort went away the first time. Now it’s going to change again. That’s how it works,’ said Luna, reaching forward to touch Harry’s arm.

 

Harry looked up at her. ‘Have you talked to anyone about what happened?’

 

Luna looked away. ‘There’s nothing to talk about, Harry. I knew what would happen if I didn’t do as I was told.’

 

‘Knowing what would happen and having it happen to you aren’t the same things,’ said Harry, gently. 

 

‘I know that,’ said Luna. ‘Harry, it happened, I survived, life goes on and so do I. My father needs my help. He’s so guilty over betraying you and Ron and Hermione. He can hardly get out of bed, some days. I tell him you out of anyone would understand what it’s like… to be given no decision at all… he just cries.’

 

‘Do you want me to talk to him? I’ll tell him I understand. Ron and Hermione do, too. They aren’t angry at him and they don’t blame him wanting to protect you,’ said Harry.

 

‘Not… not now. I don’t think he’d even see you right now. He can barely spend time around me. I come home and go into the kitchen, he goes out into the yard. I go out into the yard, he goes into the house. It’s a game of hide and seek but nobody’s playing,’ said Luna, smiling sadly.

 

‘Guess we’re back to our old friend time again,’ said Harry. He stretched out his legs. ‘Do you want to talk about it to me? It’s not good to keep that all inside.’

 

‘Do you want to talk about losing Sirius and Remus to me?’ returned Luna.

 

Harry winced. ‘OK. Point taken. I should talk about them. Losing them has left such a gap in my life… I haven’t thought about losing Remus, yet. Or Tonks. I’m Teddy’s godfather and I’m terrified, Luna. I’m still a kid. How can I be this grown up to this baby? And Andromeda is making herself function but she lost Tonks and Ted...’

 

‘You think you want to help them?’ asked Luna.

 

‘Yeah. I don’t have to be an Auror if I don’t want to. But I do want to help with this responsibility. This is something I can own for me. Not for anyone else. I want to do this… but I’m scared, Luna. I don’t know anything,’ whispered Harry.

 

Luna ran her fingers over Harry’s arm and squeezed his forearm, gently. ‘You know how to love and how to keep going when the odds are against you. You know how to make a family out of the people who love you for you. That’s a lot of knowledge.’

 

‘Speaking of knowledge, thank you for telling me about Ravensclaw’s ghost. I wouldn’t have found the diadem if you hadn’t clued me in. I’m glad you reminded me I needed to listen to you. Sorry you had to shout it at me,’ said Harry.

 

Luna smiled. ‘It was a bit hectic at the time. But you listened and I’m glad you got what you needed. Was she… was she kind to you?’

 

‘Mostly. She likes you, Luna. She thinks highly of you,’ said Harry.

 

‘Oh.’ Luna looked away, her smile fading. ‘I doubt she does, anymore.’

 

‘You’re not blaming yourself, are you? Because I’m pretty sure you’re not to blame,’ said Harry, his voice low.

 

‘I know that,’ snapped Luna. ‘This is why I don’t want to talk about it. Because people say this sort of thing. ‘It’s not your fault, Luna’ and ‘you didn’t have a choice, Luna.’ I know that.’

 

Luna balled her hands into fists and hit her thighs, angrily. ‘I know exactly what I had and it was _nothing!_ ’ she screamed.

 

She took a few gulping breaths, the tears gleaming on her cheeks in the moonlight. ‘Nothing is what I had and nothing is what I still have. I’m to carry on and heal and become whole but that isn’t going to happen because everything has shifted inside of me and I’m this… this person I barely recognize. I know enough, though.’

 

Harry didn’t say a word. He watched her, his eyes never leaving hers.

 

‘I know I can’t look at sex the same way or being naked around someone else the same way and I hate that I feel like that. I hate that it’s different, now. I want to… I want to try again, Harry. I want to try again with you but I just… I can’t...’ Luna’s voice drifted off and she wiped the tears away with impatient swipes of her hands.

 

‘OK. You can’t now… maybe you won’t ever want to… maybe you will. If the time ever comes… owl me. Tell me. Get a hold of me and tell me you’re ready and I’ll be there. I’ll meet you wherever you want,’ said Harry.

 

‘What if you’re with… what if you’re with someone else?’ asked Luna.

 

Harry shrugged. ‘Someone else is going to have to understand. Or I just go and do what I want. I’m not going to let that get in the way.’

 

‘Be careful, Harry… you don’t want to ruin a good thing,’ whispered Luna.

 

Harry smiled, sadly. ‘I’m kind of used to that,’ he said.

 

Luna scooted down until she could sit next to Harry. She put her head on his shoulder, tentatively. Harry turned his head and kissed the top of hers, gently.

 

‘Luna… I promise it won’t matter what my situation is. When it’s time… you let me know.’

 

Luna shivered but nodded slightly, and Harry leaned against her.

 

‘I’ll let you know. Just… think about it, Harry,’ implored Luna.

 

‘I already have. But thank you, Luna,’ said Harry, softly. He carefully put his arm around her shoulder, only holding her gently as she leaned against him.

 

The stones were cold when they left the Astronomy Tower.

 

**

The owl came on a day that Harry wished he could put behind him. He recognized the owl immediately; Luna had sent him many letters in the past.

 

Harry found some owl treats in his desk drawer, gave them to the owl, and took the letter, opening it immediately.

 

‘Harry… you said when I was ready… I am. Let me know if it’s still alright. Luna.’

 

Harry raised his eyebrows as he incinerated the letter, neatly. Luna was currently traipsing across the globe with Rolf Scamander. They were doing their jobs as magiczoolologists and tracking down the various creatures Rolf’s grand father had written about in his book. 

 

Harry wasn’t sure what her relationship with Rolf was; he wasn’t sure if they were intimate partners or just work partners. It didn’t matter to him. It wasn’t his business and he liked Rolf either way. Rolf reminded Harry of Neville, only instead of being passionate about plants and herbology, Rolf was all about the magic animals in the wizarding and muggle world. 

 

The few times he’d interacted with Rolf and Luna, Harry liked how Rolf treated her. Rolf was respectful but he didn’t act as though Luna was made out of glass--and broken glass, at that. Luna smiled a lot in Rolf’s presence and was as relaxed as Harry had ever seen her.

 

‘It’s still alright. Where would you like to meet up?’ wrote Harry on a piece of parchment. He decided to walk to the owlery immediately and not wait until later. 

 

The owlery was filled with the scent, sound, and movement of owls. Harry chose a small one that reminded him a lot of Pigwidgeon and sent it on its way, his missive tied to its leg.

 

**

 

‘Harry...’ Luna smiled tremulously at him, rising to kiss his cheek.

 

‘You look lovely, Luna. South America must agree with you,’ said Harry, catching her hand and squeezing her fingers, gently.

 

‘Rolf and I found the most amazing little frogs. They sing and levitate and… well, it was something else. I think we have some great snaps,’ said Luna, her eyes sparkling.

 

‘I can’t wait to see them. When is the book coming out?’ asked Harry, sitting down next to Luna on the loveseat.

 

‘Next spring, if all goes well. Rolf is editing even as we speak,’ answered Luna. ‘He likes this part. I’m more about the finding the creatures… and talking to them… and photographing them. He likes the behind the scenes work.’

 

‘You make a good couple,’ said Harry. He gazed at Luna, watching her eyes dart down and away from his steady gaze. 

 

‘We… we aren’t like that. Rolf understands I like being around him but I don’t… he wants me to marry him,’ said Luna, softly.

 

‘What do you want?’ asked Harry.

 

‘I don’t know how to answer that, Harry. I wanted to get away so I did. I wanted to lose myself in finding magical animals and proving to people I wasn’t as ‘loony’ as they always said I was. I wanted to forget but I can’t… unless you obliterate me and I know you won’t do that,’ said Luna, her voice quavering, slightly. 

 

‘I don’t want to cause damage, Luna. And I’m not sure that will solve everything, anyway. I’m not one of those fancy doctors,’ said Harry.

 

‘You didn’t say ‘no’,’ pointed out Luna.

 

Harry shrugged. ‘If it’s something you really want, if you think it’ll improve things, then I will. I’m not bound to any code.’

 

Luna bowed her head, hiding her face from Harry.

 

‘Is that what you want, Luna? Do you want me to take those memories away? I’m not sure what the ripple effect will be. I don’t know if they’ll come back later on. I’m not going to lie,’ said Harry, glancing down at the back of his hand.

 

Luna followed his gaze and sighed. ‘No… all of this is me. I wanted something else.’

 

Harry swallowed. ‘You need to tell me what you want and how far you want to go… I… it’s up to you, Luna.’

 

Luna stood up and held out her hand. Harry took it, raised the fingers to his mouth, and kissed her knuckles.

 

Luna’s breath hissed out like a cat.

 

‘Harry...’ she paused and tugged at his hand, walking with him to another door. She opened the door and Harry saw a neatly made bed, two nightstands with lit lamps set on them, and a chair.

 

Luna stood close to Harry, gazing up at him, a faint smile on her face. ‘Kiss me, Harry,’ she whispered, cupping his face in her hands.

 

Harry bent over and kissed Luna, gently, sweetly.

 

‘I remember this,’ murmured Luna. ‘You always knew how to keep the Wrackspurts away.’

 

‘I hope I still have the knack for it,’ laughed Harry. ‘I hope I haven’t lost my touch.’

 

‘Let’s see,’ encouraged Luna. She closed her eyes, leaning into Harry. She sighs softly and Harry kisses the line of her throat.

 

**

 

The owl bears another note and Harry opens it, dandling his youngest on his knee. It’d been a long day and Ginny had went to bed early, taking a headache potion beforehand.

 

Harry had tucked in James and Albus, first reading them a bedtime story and then kissing them on their foreheads as they drifted off to sleep.

 

Lily was a night owl, much like himself. She stayed up late and slept in late, much to Ginny’s amusement and relief. Harry had spent many a night holding Lily against him.

 

Harry kept the note from little hands, giving Lily a small feather to busy herself with, and opened the letter. 

 

‘Harry… I wouldn’t ask but… please. Luna.’

 

Harry grunted in recognition. Luna had married Rolf and a few years later, had borne twins. Their book was an international success and she and Rolf spent many years traveling the globe. They gave lectures to wizarding schools and institutions all over. Harry had followed her path with interest.

 

Luna sent regular letters to everyone she was friends with, Harry and Ginny included. When the children were born, she began sending small gifts for them. A package from ‘Aunt Luna’ was a celebratory event.

 

Still, Harry received private letters as well. Luna revealed more of herself to him there than she did anywhere else. Harry knew she’d decided to start a family and she’d gone to a mind healer Harry recommended. He’d received a short note of thanks and then a longer letter detailing what she’d learned. 

 

Harry, familiar with the muggle world of things, was bemused that Luna’s healer mixed muggle and magical techniques together. He never thought he’d hear Luna write about PTSD or disassociation but he reckoned if it helped her heal, he was all for it.

 

Luna’s letters changed; the tone was lighter and Harry thought he could see a glimpse of the girl he knew before Malfoy Manor, before Lucius’ violations, before Voldemort’s mechanizations. It made Harry’s heart light for days and he allowed himself to remember their moments alone.

 

Luna didn’t ask for anything from Harry. In the morning after that first owl, she woke up next to Harry and kissed him, nimbly taking control and mounting Harry, her body and hips undulating above him. Harry kept that memory locked deep inside. She’d thanked him for honouring his promise. Harry told her if she needed him again to let him know. 

 

Luna only tilted her head at him and smiled. ‘I shouldn’t but thank you. I will keep that in mind. You still haven’t married anyone, Harry.’

 

Harry shrugged. ‘I’m still figuring things out, Luna. Wouldn’t be fair of me to bring that into a marriage. It might be awhile.’

 

‘Good thing we have long years, then. Take all the time you need,’ advised Luna. She stretched and her hair shone like rarest platinum in the morning light. ‘If I ever do owl you, it’s because I truly need it… I don’t trespass boundaries lightly.’

 

Harry kissed her. ‘I know. That still stands, though. No matter what the circumstance, send for me. I will be there.’

 

Luna’s eyes widened. ‘You love me, Harry Potter.’

 

‘I do. I always have, maybe. It’s one of the very few true things I’ve known. You’re always going to be important to me, Luna,’ said Harry, softly. He twined his fingers with her and looked at her with his green, green eyes.

 

‘You’re one of the most true things in my life,’ whispered Luna. 

 

‘Good. Take care, Luna. Owl me, yeah? And write to me. Keep me updated,’ requested Harry.

 

Luna grinned. ‘I shall. Now, how about some breakfast?’

 

Harry jolted himself from his memories as Lily’s head sagged onto his shoulder. She’d fallen asleep, the feather gripped in her hand. Harry gently removed it and brought her to her bed, tucking her in.

 

He returned to his study and wrote out a reply. ‘Of course. When and where?’ and tied it to the owl’s leg, giving it another treat.

 

The owl nipped his fingers gently and winged off into the night. 

 

**

 

The years passed. Harry would receive an owl every now and then. He noted that when Luna was shifting her inner landscape, that was when she was most likely to owl. He understood the need for familiarity; he craved the moments he spent with her but never pushed for more.

 

None of their friends knew. Harry and Luna weren’t ones to give away their secret agreement with each other. They greeted each other in public like the old friends they were. Nothing about them gave any hint they were more than friends. 

 

Luna’s hair turned from blonde to silver-grey; Harry’s turned completely silver. They wrote to each other, often. Sometimes, they met to reassure each other their bonds held fast. Each time reaffirmed their affection for each other. 

 

Harry never regretted his time with Luna nor did he question his fidelity to Ginny. He was faithful to Ginny and had never strayed in all their years together. Luna was the only exception but Luna had been his very first lover. She was the first one who’d loved him for him.

 

Harry considered Luna outside the boundaries of commitment, promises, and faithfulness. Harry was unsurprised to discover he held his own moral code of what was right and fair and good. He reckoned his time as the Savior of the Wizarding World had left its mark on him. He was going to take what was owed him and hang anyone who said otherwise.

 

This was between him and Luna. Harry sat in the dark, holding the newest letter, thinking of seeing Luna again. 

 

He smiled and wrote an affirmation, sending it with the owl. He looked forward to seeing Luna again. He could say no, he knew. He could tell Luna he couldn’t see her anymore, and she’d understand. Luna always understood him better than anyone else.

 

But he didn’t want to. Harry nodded his head, watching the flames dance in the fireplace. No, he’d never turn Luna down. He’d never had any intention of doing so. 

 

The time he spent with Luna was separated from the time he spent with Ginny. Harry didn’t care if others called it infidelity. He was faithful in his own way, raising a family with Ginny and keeping his promise to Luna. It all balanced out in the end.

 

The fire had burned down to embers when Harry finally went to bed.

 

**

 

Harry never expected to outlive most of his classmates. He was prepared to die, after all, way back when in the Forbidden Forest. He watched, helplessly, as Seamus and Dean died of a strange wasting sickness in the prime of their lives. Ron had died after a long, happy life. Hermione had retreated to the Muggle world, then. She died a couple of years ago.

 

Harry had buried Ginny just two months ago. Her vibrant red hair had turned white with age. She was buried alongside Fred and George. Molly and Arthur were a few feet away. Bill, Charlie, and Percy were buried nearby as well. The next generation of Weasleys were still around, of course. Harry was glad for that.

 

Now, though, he leaned against Luna as Neville was buried with some pomp and circumstance. Neville had gone onto become the Herbology professor at Hogwarts and head of house for Gryffindor. He married Hannah Abbott and they’d had children who were also close friends of Harry and Ginny’s. Hannah had died a year ago and Neville seemed to be marking time. 

 

Harry wasn’t surprised when he received news that Neville had died amongst his beloved plants in the Hogwarts greenhouse. Harry was going to miss Neville. 

 

Luna twined her fingers around Harry’s and squeezed his hand gently. She looked lovely in a dark purple dress that flowed down to brush over her toes.

 

‘Are you going to be all right, Harry?’ asked Luna.

 

‘Yeah. Everyone’s gone, though. Everyone I was close to and spent time with… I still have the kids and nephews and nieces and all… but my classmates have mostly died. It’s so odd,’ replied Harry.

 

‘Life is odd. But we manage. And Harry, thank you for taking care of me all these years. You never said no to me. You never made me feel less than anyone else. I appreciate it so much,’ added Luna.

 

Harry gazed down at her lovely, familiar face. ‘You’re welcome, Luna. I’ve loved you for a long time. Don’t think that’s going to stop, now.’

 

Luna laughed a little. ‘I haven’t. But thank you for reassuring me. Do you want to go down to the Leaky Cauldron with all the others or...’ 

 

‘I’d rather go on home. You’re welcome to join me, of course. We could raise a toast to all the ones we love and miss,’ suggested Harry. He saw Luna’s eyes mist over. Rolf had died a decade ago but she still missed him.

 

‘That sounds like just the thing. Thank you again, Harry.’

 

Harry leaned over and kissed the top of Luna’s head. He offered her his arm. 

 

The crack of disapparate echoed through the trees.


End file.
